Since they won’t be in the NBA Finals, these stars can earn some extra cash in ways that are free from the judgments of Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, Shaq and any other TNT analysts.
Kevin Garnett
Yard Doctor: Garnett’s height would give him the advantage over the competition if he has to edge large bushes. Imagine him out there talking trash and snarling at old ladies that still cut their own yards.
Dirk Nowitzki
Camp Counselor: With his charming smile and gentle nature Dirk would be the perfect summer camp counselor. And could you imagine having him on your side in dodgeball?
Kobe Bryant
Six Flags Worker: Kobe has experience handling roller coasters (teams that is). And he will handle annoying park patrons asking questions like he does reporters inquiring about
why the Lakers can’t win again – by ignore them or blaming the other guy.
Jeremy Lin
Lifeguard: He already has experience with saving people. He saved his whole team from
being incredibly crappy. Now the only thing he needs to learn to be an official lifeguard is to only save the hot girls.
Tony Parker
Drive Thru Jockey: His French accent will instantly transform your bland Big Mac into “Le Big Mac” – boom, it tastes better already. The French also have better math scores than us so his change will never be off.
Dwight Howard
Paperboy: He has an “in” at the Daily Planet; this job should be a no brainer. And since he’s Superman he doesn’t need to worry about health benefits.
