Week of: Mar. 10, 2010
Q: Did you hear about the blonde whose boyfriend said he loved her?
A: She believed him.

Q: How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
A: Other lawyers look interested.

Q: Why do women have legs?
A: Have you ever seen the mess that slugs leave behind!

Q: Did you hear Tiger Woods has a new movie coming out?
A: It’s called Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

The Bride Tells Her Husband
The bride tells her husband, “Honey, you know I’m a virgin and I don’t know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?”

“OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place ‘the prison’ and call my private thing ‘the prisoner’. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.”

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, “Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped.”

Turning on his side, he smiles. “Then we will have to re-imprison him.”

After their second time, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, “Honey, the prisoner is out again!”

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted. She nudges him and says, “Honey, the prisoner escaped again.”

Limply turning his head, he YELLS at her, “Hey, it’s not a life sentence!"